The Incident at Wal-Mart
Best moment I ever had in a Wal-Mart.
I was in Colorado Springs. I had a loaf of bread, a gallon of milk and a couple of other things.
This woman whose cart was overflowing, almost runs me over to get in front of me at the 10 items line.
The woman starts to unload her cart onto the checkout stand and the cashier says, ‘Which ten items would you like, ma’am?”
The woman stops and says, “What?”
The cashier responds in a calm, patient tone, “This is a ten items or less express line.”
While speaking she holds up both hands showing all ten fingers. Then she pointed to the sign above the lane which read Ten Items or Less in both English and Spanish.
The woman gets all red in the face and says, “I want all of this!”
The cashier, “Ma’am, I’m sorry. As I said, this is a ten items or less line, please choose the ten items you’d like to purchase today.”
The woman at this point lets out this noise that sounds like someone poked one of those screaming goats and shoved her still overflowing cart as hard as she could. It almost hit this little old man sitting on a bench. Then she gave all of us who were laughing at her the finger, said “Fuck you!” and stormed out.
I purchased my items and tipped the cashier a $20 for the best improv comedy moment I’d seen in years.